real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
