Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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