he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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