Where did you get a picture of my penis
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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