Duck Duck Cougar?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
