someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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