Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
