Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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