nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
