Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
