maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
