Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
