My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
