porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
