Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
