party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
