Your face is a jimmy john
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
