They should really pass out barf bags in church
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize