I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
