Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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