dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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