Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
