let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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