you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
