You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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