butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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