K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize