We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
