well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
