i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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