If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
