matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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