you would pick up someone in the library
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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