she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
