This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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