i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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