I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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