What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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