Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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