Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
