imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
