We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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