We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
