So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
