Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
