i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
As shirtless as possible
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
