i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize