bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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