Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
