I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
