I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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