dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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