My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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