If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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