just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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