I should be sponsored by Trojan
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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