just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
