I just pynch a tree in the face
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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